http://blog.iloveallaah.com/?p=2562

Luqman (alayhee al-sallam)’s advice to his son as guide for all parents

Posted by iloveAllaah.com Editor • November 16, 2011

In Surah Luqman (chapter 31 of the Qur’an), we find the wisdom that Prophet Luqman (alayhee al-sallam) provided to his son:

“And indeed We bestowed upon Luqmân Al¬Hikmah (wisdom and religious understanding) saying:  "Give thanks to Allâh," and whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his ownself. And whoever is unthankful, then verily, Allâh is All¬Rich (Free of all needs), Worthy of all praise. (12)
And (remember) when Luqmân said to his son when he was advising him: "O my son! Join not in worship others with Allâh. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allâh is a great Zûlm (wrong) indeed.  (13)
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years — give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. (14)
But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do. (15)
"O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allâh will bring it forth. Verily, Allâh is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well¬Aware (of its place). (16)
"O my son! Aqim¬As¬Salât (perform As¬Salât), enjoin (on people) Al¬Ma'rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al¬Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allâh, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments (ordered by Allâh with no exemption). (17)
"And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allâh likes not any arrogant boaster  (18)
"And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the ass." (19)”
[Luqman 31:12-19]

Luqman was a wise man whose insight was bestowed upon him by Allaah. He taught this wisdom to his son for his benefit in this world & the world to come. Understandably, priority was given to teaching Tawheed (monotheism) & warning against shirk (polytheism), since this is the foundation of the Islamic creed.
Following one’s duty to Allaah, he enjoined kindness and obedience to parents.
This ingredient is critical in terms of parenting, for it eases the task when children assimilate this principle into their personalities.
After informing him of the rights due to Allaah & parents through the expression of gratefulness, Luqman reminds his son of the awareness of Allaah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) in all matters, public & private:
“O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allâh will bring it forth. Verily, Allâh is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well¬Aware (of its place)..”   (Luqman 31: 16)
Allaah is aware of all that we do and f or this reason we should have fear of Allaah.
We should also be cautious about taking sins lightly.
The obligation of performing prayer & observing it perfectly is then mentioned.
He encouraged his son to enjoin right conduct & forbid wrongdoing, to be patient over what comes to pass, and to avoid arrogance and boasting.
These few verses contain an abundance of wisdom for parents.
From this, parents can delineate the important goals for their children:

• Belief (Eemaan) in Allaah with pure Tawheed & avoidance of associating partners with Allaah.
• Kindness, respect & obedience toward parents.
• Fear of Allaah & awareness of His all-encompassing presence.
• Establishment of prayer, on time & in the correct manner.
• Enjoining what is right & forbidding what is wrong.
• Bearing life with patience.
• Humility & meekness.
• Moderation & avoidance of extremes.

In addition to these, the following may be added:

• Strength in belief & faith.
• Attachment to the Qur’an & authentic hadeeths.
• Love of & sincerity to Allaah, His Messenger, & His Book.
• Adherence to the Sunnaah of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhee wa aalehee wasalam).
• Understanding of all things from the perspective of Islaam.
• Islaamic personality, values, & identity.
• Equity & justice in dealing with others.
• Kindness, mercy & good character towards all people.
• Concern for the affairs of all Muslims (aid them, fulfil their rights).
• Inviting others to Allaah & Islaam.
• Pride in being Muslim.

Associated personality characteristics that would be desirable include the following:

• Self-confident & with positive self-esteem.
• Motivated.
• Responsible.
• Persistent, hard-working.
• Capable & skilful.
• Content & satisfied.
• Honest & trustworthy.
• Courageous.
• Leader.

The foundation of these goals is the development of Aqeedah, Eemaan & fear of Allaah.
In essence, the individual develops an Islaamic personality & an Islaamic identity.
This becomes the centre of the heart & soul.
All effort will be put forward to live a life of Islaam, Eemaan, & Ehsaan.
True success will then be achieved in this life & the hereafter.
In the end, the supreme goal for both parents & children is paradise.